


To My [B]eloved

by AxiomAutomata



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Romance, Spoilers, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 20:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18881014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxiomAutomata/pseuds/AxiomAutomata
Summary: 9S confesses his feelings to 2B in a letter long overdue.





	To My [B]eloved

9S sat at his desk, staring at the piece of paper in front of him. In his right hand, he gripped a worn pen, the paint long since flaked off of the scratched metal.

He had been waiting so long to do this. Far too long, he thought. He promised himself, and 2B, that someday he’d sit down and compose a letter for her. To tell her how much he loved her.

And yet every time he tried, nothing came. Sure, there were emotions that caused his black box to throb as they intertwined and melded together in a jumble, and treasured memories he kept tucked away and replayed over and over again. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t put any of it into words. The longer he kept at it, the more frustrated he became.

Why was love so hard to describe?

His gaze trailed to 153, who was quietly perched on his desk. The Pod hadn’t said a single word ever since he had entered the room. What could she be thinking?

“…Pod?”

At his call 153 drifted into the air, swiveling to face him. “What is it?”

“What does it mean to love?”

There was a beat of silence before 153 responded. “According to this unit’s databanks, love is a strong feeling of affection towards another individual, often arising out of kinship or personal ties towards that person.”

9S sighed. “Yes, but how do I describe it?” Of course a Pod wouldn’t be able to understand what love was.   


“This unit does not understand the concept of love beyond its linguistic definition.” 153’s monotone voice was not helping the situation any. “However, this unit senses that unit 9S holds a strong feeling of kinship towards unit 2B.”

“Why else would I be writing this?” His outburst caused them both to jump as it reverberated across the room. Shaking his head, he turned back to the blank paper with a clenched fist.

153 tilted her body to the side, as if in thought. “Suggestion: Unit 9S could draw upon his memories of 2B.”

“My memories of her?”

“Affirmative.”

9S chewed on his lip, teeth scraping against artificial skin. As much as he treasured his memories of 2B, recently whenever one resurfaced he almost always found it impossible not to break down. Even the sound of her voice was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Perhaps it was the overwhelming grief that made those memories so hard to process.

And yet these memories were his only remaining link to her. 

Sighing, 9S began delving through his memory logs. Before long he found himself staring at hundreds of screens, all depicting memories of himself and 2B. He tapped on one, expanding it to fill the whole screen. There she was without her blindfold, one of the very few times he was lucky enough to see her whole face. Her clear blue eyes looked so vulnerable and warm, her lips curled up in the slightest smile.

He caressed the screen, running her fingers along her cheek. His black box constricted as a lump welled up in his throat, tears soaking the cloth of his blindfold. Even then, he felt a smile of his own spread across his face.

9S gazed down at the empty page, pressing the pen to the paper. With a shaky breath, he began to write, slowly, but surely. Every now and then, he perused the memory logs, gradually becoming more and more absorbed in them.

Though hesitant at first, once he started, he found it impossible to stop. Before he knew it, the page was nearly filled.

Sometime later, 9S put his pen down, shaking out his cramping hand as he read over the letter. Again a smile crept across his face, even as warmth pressed behind his eyelids. He stood, folding it and tucking it in his pocket. As he walked towards the door, a whir reached his audio sensors as 153 flew down beside him. He gently pat her hull, earning a twirl and a chirp of gratitude.

Together they stepped out into the sun-dappled Resistance Camp and made their way into the city ruins. Walking through the sunlight, as they had always done.

A short while later, 9S found himself in the overgrown commercial facility. He walked over to the elevator, eyes roaming the dull, rusty metal. It was a miracle it still worked after all this time. Pressing the button brought a familiar  _ ding _ to his ears as the doors slid open. He stepped in, clutching the letter to his chest.

The doors opened again, bringing to him the soft glow of thousands of Lunar Tears. Stepping into the cave, 9S tread softly on the grass, being careful not to trample a single flower. As he arrived at the worn stake, he sat down in front of it, pulling down his blindfold even as tears wet his eyelashes.

“Hey, 2B. It’s been a while. I hope it’s not too lonely up there.”

9S swallowed, his voice thick as he tried to keep it from trembling.

“I…I wrote something for you. A love letter, actually. I know it’s a bit late now, and I’m sorry about that. But between everything that’s happened, I never found the time. I hope you haven’t gotten too impatient with me.” Despite himself, a chuckle escaped. He slowly unfolded the letter, glancing over the words. 9S sucked in a deep breath, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to read it aloud to you. I…I hope that it reaches you.”

There was a moment of silence as 9S braced himself, trying to calm his trembling bands. With a shaky breath, he began to read.

 

* * *

 

_ To my beloved, _

_ Ever since I met you, my whole world changed. Everything became so much brighter having you at my side. The times we spent together – every mission we went on, every memory ever created, no matter how small – they’re all precious treasures to me. When I look back on each of those memories, they bring me nothing but joy. _

_ As often as you told me about how emotions are prohibited, I couldn’t fight how I truly feel about you. How much I love you. _

_ I love the sound of your laugh, as rare as it is to hear it. The way your eyes sparkle when you smile. _

_ I love your grace and poise on the battlefield. How you always seem so confident, no matter how intimidating the enemy may seem. I love that no matter how daunting the problem, you always find a way through. _

_ All this and so much more, I love about you. I have always loved you, and I always will, until the end of time. _

_ Thank you for creating those wonderful memories with me. Thank you for always staying by my side, no matter what. _

_ I hope that wherever you are now, you are at peace. _

_ No matter what happens next, know that you will always be my beloved. _

_ Yours always, _

_ Nines _

 

* * *

 

The letter slipped from 9S’s hands, fluttering into his lap as a choked sob escaped him. Reaching up, he pulled his blindfold down to his neck, allowing his tears to soak the earth. Around him, the glowing flowers blurred into a haze of pale light.

He placed the letter at the foot of the memorial, before reaching up to caress the black ribbon tied to it. With a quiet sigh, he leaned his head against the stake, holding the ribbon close to his black box as he gazed up into the air, which seemed to sparkle with stars. As he closed his eyes, he felt a gentle warmth envelop him.

“2B…” The name fell from his lips in a soft murmur. As if in response, the warmth intensified just a touch, a gentle pulse that caused his black box to skip. A smile spread across his face as he opened his eyes, and for just a brief moment he swore he could see 2B smiling back at him.

Maybe his letter did reach her after all.


End file.
